If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

Would you like to be able to eat your favorite foods and still lose weight? Well, if you buy my pattented diet program membership or diet app or pre-packeged diet food thing or whatever diety diet diet stuff I ‘ll tell you that you can and you ‘ll believe me. Hi, I’ m Roger and you ‘re going to pay me to help you lose body mass for a brief period of time in an unhealthy way just to gain it all back and then you ‘ll pay me to do it again! Don’t believe me? Talk to our celebrity spokesperson from a TV show that was big in the 90’s. She was once an icon but society doesn’t embrace ageing so now her job is to get smaller in size, right? Hi! I was a famous person in the past and now I get paid $33,000 per pound I lose to say things like “I love and use this product” I LOVE AND USE THIS PRODUCT! Hmm! Chemicals! Wonderful. Just wonderful! You see, the average celebrity who we hire to lose weight with our programm makes between 500,000 and 3 million dollars for depleting fat using our programm. What a great gig! Next fast food companies will glom on to whatever new eating habits we’ re selling to you. Gluten-free , low carb, you name it! Like this average Joe, who only ate sandwiches for three years. Fast food will claim to be on board the diet train thanks to him It wasn’t that product that made him too small to fit into his pants. He just stop eating unhealthy amounts of food. Τechnically, you can stuff any amount of edible items into your talkhole as long as you limit it. But it won’t make you healthy. and the sandwich company doesn’t care. They ‘ll market the crap out of his shrinkage unless he reveals he ‘s a skeezebag. Then they ‘ll drop him faster than you can say “It’s not healthy to lose that amount of weight that quickly just by eating sandwiches.” Anyway, beat it monster. But if these celebs and average Joes don’t do it for you we ‘ll just shame you, shame you for ingesting anything it’s outside of our program. Because that’s being bad, naughty, or unhealthy But if you eat my fat-free sugary chocolate-covered stale puffed rice snack bar then we’ll applaud you. In fact, our entire program will be designed like a video game, where you get badges and reward points for getting in shape. We ‘ll even make apps where we’ll track your steps exerecises, everything you eat , your location, you know, like a super creepy Big Brother-type thing And we ‘ll make you think you can exercise away that late night cupcake you crushed inside your saliva maker last night, because my carbage puffed bar made you crave sugar. But you cannot jazzercise that cupcake , -which is fine for us- because we have a badge for that too. Look at that neat badge, it’s distracthing and fun, because if didn’t give you some
sort of cutesy badge or virtual high-five you ‘d get bored and defeated. And we don’t want you bored and defeated, we want you to keep giving us money forever, as your body shape morphs back and forth. By the way,the rice puffed bar is now unhealthy but try our new, gluten-free full-fat
paleo square of crusty meat. See how we keep changing
what’s considered good for you? That’s how we get it because a hundred and eight million people are dieting just in the US, and they try and fail, and try and fail four or five times a year. Then if you do lose weight 95% of you will gain it back within 3 years. We deliberately design our program for failure. However, if you earn that weight back it’s YOU who failed, not our program, never our program. You ‘re a failure because you can’t maintain an unrealistic masticating and exercise pattern for the rest of the time you spend breathing. Oops! Looks like paleo bars aren’t good any more Now you should buy my liquid diet, you ‘ll literally piss out your poop hole All because your body is freaking out and doesn’t know what to do. It’s going into starvation mode since you keep switching unheathy diet to unhealthy diet making it harder for you to lose weight Your body is just trying to keep you from starving, but we helped you develop a complex about feeding yourself. It’s something you have to do or you’ll die. And I sell you strategies and products that make it seem legitimate to starve yourself on and off but if you really wanted to get healthy you ‘d just eat moderately and exercise moderately and accept that your body will never be what you deem as perfect. But we’ ll never tell you that. Come on, go ahead and eat my grain-free vegan paleo
allergen-free raw non-solid bar it’s $25 and I guarantee you’ll lose weigth eating it.

100 thoughts on “If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

  1. Perfect day:

    Losing weight while playing Horton magical shape tapper in HortonLand all while eating Horton Salt and Sugar chips.

  2. Ironically, low carb diets do work. If you know what insulin does in the body, you'll know why you gain or lose weight. Carbs spike insulin. Insulin causes fat storage. It also blocks the burning of fat. So lots of carbs means you store lots of fat. Stop eating carbs, stop storing fat. Without carbs, your body burns the fat. No special products or diet memberships needed. No need to give anyone money. Just eat meats, leafy veggies, and non-starchy veggies. No fruit, no sugar.

  3. If people just ate natural foods- organic vegetables, mainly greens, some fruit, free-range eggs, occasionally organic fresh salmon, and drank only clean unflouridated water and occasionally unsweetened tea, if they stopped watching tv and driving everywhere and walked short journeys carrying their groceries and actually spoke to one another, read the Bible and got enough rest, they would be very healthy&never need to 'diet' or visit a doctor.

  4. Rodger: Oh, it looks like my grain-free vegan paleo allergen-free raw non-solid bar is unhealthy now, so now buy my grain-free vegan paleo allergen-free raw non-solid bar shaped like an animal.

  5. what if i told u it's okay to be ur size and comfortable, and u don't have to constantly diet- taken out by corporate snipers

  6. People turn to these programs for a shortcut to getting thin/buffed, but in reality, there is no shortcut. It all comes down eating properly and exercising.

  7. Years ago, I looked up the health benefits of fasting, which turned me on to intermittent fasting. I lost a ton of weight, my athletic performance improved, I felt better on days I didn’t eat, started sleeping better and stopped getting hungry. I genuinely never get hungry. I just kept that as a way of life. My bloodwork always comes back perfect, nobody made money from my weight loss and I save money on food. My doctor even admitted that there is no scientific evidence that not eating is bad, harmful or whatever. It’s not for everybody, but it worked great for me.

  8. ANYONE who is STILL trying these common sense-defying, fraudulent, UNPROVEN, fad diets, firstly you're an uber moron of biblical proportions, secondly you're obviously lazy, and thirdly HOW is it you're still alive? If you haven't figured out by the age of being able to read this, how to maintain and PROPERLY feed your body, well then tubby maybe it's time to give it up and let someone ELSE who isn't a lazy idiot have a shot. The herd needs thinning anyhoo and I say fatties first, they're eating us out of house n home.

  9. Most of the stuff sold in restaurants and super markets (factory products not fresh produce ) is very very unhealthy. This is the major reason why so many people struggle with weight. If we mostly had good food around us , it would be a lot easier to stay in shape. The government knows this too. But will they do anything about it? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️

  10. The supplier will be hateing this guy yet it nothing but the truth thank f.ck someone sead it they to many people with diet BULLSHIT

  11. Here have you ever seen the crap Tesco's sandwich if that's what you call the its 2 day bits of dryed bread like cardboard and out of date lettuce 🤢👀u to can look like this just by the bacon

  12. The thing about a diet is that it has to become a permanent part of your life otherwise you'll never be able to maintain the body that you're looking for. You can't go on a diet for 1 month and expect to keep your body if you start eating shit again. You can have cheat days but your diet is a lifetime commitment.

  13. Hi, I'm Jim from nutroboom. Try our new nutroboom drinks, you'll lose weight so fast you won't even realize! Boom boom everyone!

  14. Eating Big mac…..
    Watches the video…..
    Spits the big mac and throws it at the garbage…..
    Says: Alright from now on I'll get into a strict diet!
    Next week…. finds an excuse to himself to eat big mac…..
    Says: I've been working hard for a week, I deserve a big mac….
    gains back the weight he lost the past week….

  15. I lost 145 pounds, im 5 foot 14 and a canadian jamaican mexican 7 year old with a hemeotonical grabological eating astraphaly! I tried Nutrisystem and teleported to your moms urethra!

  16. Jared walked quite a distance to and back from the sandwich shop…and only ate AT the sandwich shop, no snacking in between.  YOU try walking six miles a day and limiting your eating to only the meals you've walked to…

  17. Okay… you guys have done great up to this point… but real food isn't a "fad diet". Please try not to screw up people's chance to get healthy, by equating good fatty meat with a highly-processed, excessive-protein candy bar, full of toxic chemicals and just as toxic grains.
    Point out that the "right way" to eat, is the way humans ate for a couple million years, until someone decided wheat was a good thing for peasants to eat, while keeping the animals for himself. 🙂

  18. There is a movement and it is free if you want it to be except you are paying for the internees anyway: plant-based diet. It is free to learn and people have so many positive results like getting off of all meds (they are all toxic anyway), overcoming diabetes, arthritis, asthma, high blood pressure, heart disease and brittle bone. But even when the movies which tell you how to do it, the developers think about it, they let you watch it on YouTube, why? Imagine that some people actually care and aren't in it to get rich.

    That is Plant-Based, and he didn't make fun of it .

  19. I developed an eating disorder due to child abuse at home. I have tried most everything. So after 30 yrs I can tell you this man has it right. It robbed me of my life and everyone blamed it on me. I have only recently realized I can't shame myself for eating. I HAVE to! Treat yourself and your body well. Love it.

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