I’M STARTING OVER! | Kati Morton & Michael Buckley pt 3


(slow sad music) – It’s just amazing how
our unsupervised brain just comes up with all these BS drama, disempowering thoughts, and then we stop and we’re like oh this
is what I want to think. I will tell it what to think. Boom. You know at my last, my
last VidCon was 2016. I was at the tail end
of my YouTube career, I had I was just really still drinking and still just a little bit
uncertain about the future, and now where I’m at is I
moved across the country, I have a thriving life coaching business, I, you know I play all these
recreational sports which – So many sports. – Is my favorite thing
to talk about all day. (laughing) – I play flag football, – You play so many sports. – I play indoor soccer
I play indoor soccer, I play ultimate frisbee, I play kickball. I don’t even recognize
this version of myself, so that’s next thing, I’m 44 years old. A lotta people who watch
you are probably younger and it’s like I just want you all to know it’s like you’re meant to
go through many different. – Yes. – I am nothing at 44 like I
was at 34 and at 24 and 14. – And thank God. – Thank God, you know. – It isn’t it every 7 years your cells – Yeah. – Technically completely turn over so you actually are a
whole new version of you. – Yeah so I jus – What a beautiful thing. – I love that I love that. And people are be like oh I you
see me and I haven’t changed cause you don’t see it
cause it’s internal. Like I am the same, I’m outgoing, I’m very – Well you’re still Michael. – I’m still Michael Buckley, but inside I know how different I am and my interests have evolved
and I’m off of the the you know my life was so
unconscious and unaware of the things I was
doing and then the moment I got off of that I was like I made very, I’m so decisive now, I make
decisions so easily and happily, versus years of just kind of
waiting for my life to unfold, or oh I guess I’ll see
how it goes and maybe I’ll do this versus oh
this is what I’m doing. – Well and I think that’s really important for people to hear because
a lotta times we feel like oh when this happens I’ll feel better. – Which is silly. – When that person apologizes
then I can move on. – Simply not true. – Yes. – You’ll find a new reason not to move on! (laughing) – Exactly cause you’re
just looking for the, cause it’s easier it’s
comfortable where we are and you have to challenge
yourself to to push out of that – Right. – And that’s why I love
your Instagram stories – Thank you. – In general it’s really inspiring. – Thank you. Show up today with grace and compassion and unconditional love towards yourself no matter where you’re at, and do that with everybody around you cause that makes the world
so much easier to navigate, when you give yourself
that grace and that love. (happy music) – So how difficult was
it selling your home, packing up your things, moving
all the way out to Colorado in your car? – Yeah. – I mean I just remember
following on along being like this is a huge transition
for him and I’m excited. – Thank you. – You know scared and excited
in the way that you, you know. That’s just life. – I wasn’t scared at all,
I really it was a happy and easy decision, like it’s funny how so in 2017 it was like that was the year I just became decisive, and
I stopped eating fast food, I stopped drinking soda, I
stopped drinking alcohol, and then I decided to sell
my house and move to Denver, so like everything was just
like an easy happy decision. And versus the years I
think that’s the thing. It’s like being in overwhelming confusion, like that’s where it’s like uh-uh-uh, and then the moment you
make the decision it’s easy. – Yeah. – So it’s like when I quit drinking it was a very easy happy decision. The year before thinking
about quitting drinking, that was terrible. – Yes. – So it’s like the thought
of it was terrible, but then the moment I did it was like freedom and release and oh – Did you read a book? – I read a book cal – What’s the book? – Called Stop Drinking Now
the Allen Carr Easy Way, and it is it’s very you
know cogient therapy and just directing your brain and I saw myself as a drinker
so I behaved as a drinker. – Of course. – And now I don’t see myself
as a drinker so I don’t drink, and also the book taught me again, like when I when you do
anything if you’re going to quit drinking and it’s
like it’s going to suck, or oh my God my life is going to suck, or I’m going to loose my friendships. Right, it sounds dreadful. I quit drinking with great joy, like I saw my life would
be much better without it so now it’s like I always think am I going to approach
it with dread or joy, and if you approach it with
joy everything’s very simple, but if you approach it
oh I’m going to VidCon this is going to suck, I accroach any – Well 100%. – Thing, great joy. – If you wake up in the morning are like today’s going
to be a wonderful day and I’m going to get things
that I want to get done I’m going to feel good about it. – Yes! – I think, and it sounds
silly, but I do that I mean. – I do too. – I know it works and so
I try to practice this. Especially like VidCon,
I’m more on the introverted – Yeah. – Side of things and so I’m always like oh it’s going to be exhausting, I’m like no it’s going to be wonderful. – It’s going to be wonderful. – It’s going to be wonderfully exhausting cause I get to catch up
with people that I like and I get to take breaks when I need. – Exactly. – And I get to control that. – I get to do this
versus I have to do this. – Yes. – Like that’s the simplest mindship. Like I have all things to do, you could go you don’t
have to clean your house. – You don’t have to. You don’t have to pick
up your kids from school. – Nope. – Hire somebody, if you’re that – I’m so fortunate, yes – you get to do all of this. – You are not doing your children any favor if you put them first. If you’re like my children are my life you’re screwed, if you’re like oh my God my husband you’re screwed. You always number one. The kids, the spouse,
the job, they benefit from you being selfish. Um so, yeah I mean that’s the main thing I coach to decided ahead of time, so I know this interview is going to go, because I’ve got my thoughts
and feelings in order. I’m not waiting to see how you treat me, or how the comments come in it’s like, I know it’s going to go great! – Yes. – Cause I decided ahead of time, so moving to Denver, I knew
it was going to go great. Like I left the iPhone store and they said if you don’t like it you can bring it back and I said well I’m going to like it cause I want to like it. – Yeah. – So I mean let me just
think about what that what I just said I want to like
it so I’m going to like it! I’m not going to look for problems. (laughing) – I want to like it, I want to
have a great time at VidCon, so I’m going to have a great, it’s all up to you. – Oh 100%. – Your experience. – Cause our brains seek out what we’re what we’re wanting it to find. Does that make sense? – [Michael] Right, yeah. – You know, if we’re
looking for the negatives – Of course, there it is. – Than we’re going to find them. – There it is. – But if we look for the positives and the smiles and the gestures then we find that and we can enjoy that. – Yeah. – I love it. Well thank you for taking
the time to share your story. – I mean, I would I would talk to you any day of the week for
hours and hours and hours so – I know, I love it. – Thank you. – Do you have any advice for anybody who maybe is in that mucky muck part? – Enjoy the mucky muck part! Like that’s the thing it’s like and that’s why we’re talking about like if you’re waiting to forgive someone or if you’re waiting to change careers, like I always say, you’re
waiting to loose 100 pounds! You’re waiting to find a new boyfriend! You’re waiting to become a YouTube star! You’re doing it wrong, you know all your emotions available at all times! And you know happiness leads to success, not the other way around. – Yes. – So you think I’m going
to like loose weight, get a boyfriend and you
know solve the world – And then I’ll be happy. – And then I’ll be happy,
versus you can be happy – And happiness – And happiness is a lot
easier than we think, too. I think happiness is
not some urban legend of I will do this then be happy. It’s like that’s why when people say to me like oh happy I’m like
happys’s very happy’s fine. – Yes. – It’s the other stuff, like happy you could easily go do
some drugs be happy. (laughing) – Go, really happy is easy – It’s true, happy is easy. – It’s the other stuff that it’s like, so I mean I’m always looking for purpose, I’m always looking for you know just to just different emotions than happiness cause I you know, but yeah
I think enjoy the journey. That’s the thing, it’s like
look at someone like me who is 44 years old and I’ve
had many chapters of my life and I think you just have
to enjoy all of them, because I love messy me. I got a tattoo that says “As Is” because I do, I love myself, I like myself 100% as is and I have
some terrible qualities and I don’t need to go to therapy or life coach myself out of them. I love my terrible qualities – Yeah. – Cause I’m a human being. – Yeah, we’re not perfect – No it’s like I have amazing qualities that I love and I could list off, and I’ve got some qualities
that aren’t great, so I do, I love myself,
I like myself as is, and I give you that same
grace and compassion. I love you, I like you as is. I think so much of our suffering is wishing our spouse was different, wishing our YouTube
audience was different. – Yes. – Whishing it versus I love
and I like you just like this. – I appreciate – It’s okay. – What is is, yeah. – I do so I think that’s my main advice. Love an like yourself 100% as is. You’re not do not wait to loose weight, or find a boyfriend, or find a new job. It’s your 100% awesome
and lovable and worthy, and I know we say that and
if you don’t think that you’re like this is bullshit he she’s a therapist, he’s a life coach. – They’re like next. – But, it is the truth
whether you believe it or not, and someday you might
need to want to hear that and remind yourself and
so I think you’re awesome and I’m so grateful that
you’re watching this video, and I think you know you add great value to the world as you, it’s
like I think that’s the thing. We’re always looking externally
for our internal problems! – Yes. – And it’s like your awesome
and you add great value to the world and if you’re watching this and you want to be a YouTuber, turn on the camera and become a YouTuber! – Yeah, do it. – And if you don’t, that’s okay too, but just ask yourself what
do I want to do with my life, and then do it, really ask yourself. Direct your brain and go for all of it. Now I’m done rambling. (laughing) – No I love it though, but thank you – Thank you. – For sharing your story
cause I think its important people know the mucky muck part’s okay. – Love the mucky muck. – And we all have different journeys. – Yeah. – And I like that you know you’ve birthed a whole new Michael. – Thank you, buckle up. – As we all should, we
change and grow, yeah. – Buckle up. – That’s a good – Michael Buckley Buckle Up. – That’s a good with that yeah trademark. – Buckle up. (laughing) – Well thank you I love you. – Thank you Kati, I love you. – And we will see you guys next time, bye. (outro music) – And remember if you
ask shitty questions, you get shitty answers. How am I going to get through today? Why am I so busy, why
can’t I loose weight, Why doesn’t this person,
if you ask yourself shitty questions you get shitty answers, so ask yourself powerful questions.

64 thoughts on “I’M STARTING OVER! | Kati Morton & Michael Buckley pt 3

  1. That's great and all but for some of us it's not that easy. I myself am working on trying to retrain my brain to have that I get to rather than i have to attitude and it takes time to do that. It doesn't just happen overnight and he seems to be saying just start thinking that way and you'll be fine. It was also very much like look at my life I'm doing great and I found that really annoying. Like great for you but what you said doesn't work for all of us and for many of us it makes more than that.

  2. Wow this is refreshing, I am a fellow Psychotherapist and was introduced to your channel a few years ago.

  3. I didn't get MA in psychology , because I don't want to be a counselor. Katie your channel is awsome like you. Sink or swim, change for the better or stay the same and be miserable .

  4. Oh I loved this little series so much! I subscribed to Buck back in 2006.. wow 13 years ago! He has been through so much and has grown so much! It’s been such an interesting experience just following along throughout his life! From What The Buck to the divorce and the move and then the serious videos of him explaining what was going on and then the videos of how he flipped everything around and started his life coaching career.. he’s an inspiration and such a beautiful person inside and out. I’m thankful for Michael Buckley.

  5. "I saw myself as a drinker, so I was a drinker."

    That can apply to so many things…this is life-changing

  6. Hi Guys , Thanks for pt. 3 Kati , I am tossing this question , ' what if you are staring at the beast and it stares back , fails to move and will not let you pass ? ' To me I am the beast , sure I believe I have a talent for writing , many verses have I uploaded , but I still fail to see the worth in me to move forward , to punch the beast in the gut and tell it to find someone else to pick on !! . Thanks Michael , I understand what you said ,, , but I am fearful of me and the beast or failure , I know , "you must fail in order to succeed " , I get that , but the beast is still in my way.
    Take care , thanks again , I am glad you made it just wish I could too. All my best , Kati share a .pdf with Michael 🙂 , thanks , Take care , Gary 

  7. I just wanted to say that I started therapy today and my psychologist was such a nice and kind guy, i have hopes now that i can be fixed and i just wanted to say thanks to you as well Kati, your videos helped me to stay and doesn't feel alone while i was waiting for finally start therapy. Thanks. And this videos was such a motivational. Everyone, always remember there's help out there and feelings can change, you can change. ❤️

  8. This is THE REAL motivational video.
    "like / love yourself as is… 👏😃
    😍😊
    thats right.. 😼😻

  9. You're so right about how easy it is once you make the decision. I had to make some tough decisions when a loved one's substanc abuse got worse, and it took so long to make those decisions, but once I did, I had such peace and everything just fell into place.

  10. Can you talk about how to deal w a friend that often asks for favors and never compensates for it and it’s one sided when I don’t ask for favors from them? How to say no nicely. It’s from babysitting her kids to house sitting/pet sitting for a week while she went on vacation.

  11. This has made me a revelation (?) I was raised to believe that if you didn't know the knowledge enough . A victim is the weakest of the weak and you must solve the problem. However, now I understand why my impression was this way. I was the eldest or (Mom) in a divided aruging family on one another's back literally ( 6 of us – I was the scapegoat) Learning that I * am weak and nothing more. This has made me understand that although I can see outside of this 'weakness' I'm not so weak afterall Shuddering now revelation really all the news everything I react to was this needs to be solved. So me now * Thank-you *

  12. Hi Kati. First I'd like to thank you for your videos and your lovely persona, from what I've seen of you your friends should be proud to know you…..I have many and varied mental health problems which are slowly being helped by a whole mental health team BUT I hope you can tell me the name and how I can get over my eating disorder. I'ts a lot like ARFID but It can't be that because it's not weight orientated I know I'm as thin as a stick ( 5' 9" and under 8 stone ) and know I need to put weight on especially now I've finally found the confidence too start my transition my problem is that food is repulsive to me . It has too look taste smell and be the right texture for me to eat. There is very little I can even look at without gagging let alone put in my mouth. I have been told I have to do like CBT and force myself to eat and eventually it will get easier. CBT has worked with going outside but I am struggling with food , if I force myself to eat most things I am ill and then that reinforces why I can't eat. My weekly food intake is a packet of chocolate biscuits and about 4 ham sandwiches so I have too buy milk shake nourishment drinks. I would be greatfull for suggestions from you or the lovely people that watch your videos. Love and luck to all, Welsh Louise….

  13. Looooove this so much! I have wanted to do YT videos for so long and I was always so scared (still am haha); but I finally started posting this year. And yeah, nobody knows my channel exists and I’m super awkward, but it’s a great exposure therapy for myself and I’m learning editing skills.

  14. The What The Bucks Show was one of the first channels I subscribed to. This fuels me with joy and just put "approach with joy" on my wall. I needed to hear this and i love knowing that there are so many others that this video will impact

  15. I had anxiety at first reading the name because I thought maybe you were gonna stop everything or something!
    So motivating!

  16. LOVE THIS. And I like how who ever edited this let the content come before the composition of the picture in the video. So when Michael said something good the camera might be shaky, but who cares when what he says is important. As an editor myself I would naturally avoid shaky video, but sometimes it is what it is. Makes it feel more real.

  17. Kati you are a very beautiful woman. You look like an eighteen year old woman. I don't know what you do with yourself. Best wishes.

  18. Hey Kati first of all very motivational video. Second can you do a video on making up fantasy worlds in our head. Then acting like it’s real. For example I’ll make up a perfect story in my head with people, and then all day every day it feels like they are watching/ judging me. I haven’t been to therapy..well because my mom is like wait till you grow up and then you’ll have real problems…but that’s a way different topic. I don’t think it’s dissociation because I’m present, but just acting like it’s real. Oh and also the diagnosis’s that go with it. Help I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can barely eat because i feel like they,” imagined people” are watching and judging me.

  19. i have a q kati. is it possible to have a suicidal thought and self harming m and not being depressed ? my doctor doesnt think that i suffer from any thing but i do not feel like im normal with these thoughts . he thinks that is a behaviour kind of a thing. pls i need you to respond

  20. I don't really know where to ask this but I was watching your video on BPD and I wanted to know can someone have BPD without having unstable and volatile relationships but with them having other symptoms of BPD ?

  21. More interviews!!! I love that we are hearing others experiences/stories!! I absolutely love this and hearing the transitions ♥️😍💯

  22. can you make a video about neglectful parents? not emotionally neglectful but physically and ways to support yourself?

  23. Could you do a video on sensorimotor ocd I have been struggling with obsessing over autonomic processes like breathing. I feel I constantly control my breathing and doesn’t feel like a subconscious thing. It’s starting to control my life as I can’t focus on anything. My fear is that if I don’t pay attention to my breathing I’ll stop breathing. It Is one of the most frustrating disorders for more info you can look up Jon Hershfield and breathing ocd. I am just not getting it maybe you could explain it.

  24. 4:40 "Your number one, then the kids, the spouse they benefit from you being selfish."
    I agree. Selfishness is a virtue, because your flourishing befits people through you just pursuing your life and values, for yourself.
    Selfishness is about your purpose and self-care, not the old thinking of the word of being narcissistic and shunning others for short term gain.

  25. My therapist doesn’t think my dad could have been emotionally abusive to me because she thinks he is a nice guy. What do I do????

  26. I see myself as a crackhead alcoholic driver, so that's what I'm gonna be..

    THANK YOU KATI! <3

  27. How can I get my parents to understand that I need to see a therapist. I have told them and they said I was faking it for attention. They don't listen to anything I have to say and they don't believe I have been cutting and having panic attacks even though I showed them my cuts and I have had panic attacks while with them. They said I was just throwing a tantrum. And it's not just me, my sister asked for a dentist appointment for 2 or 3 years and they never got her one until she beat me up. I know they try but it makes me mad and I can't talk to anyone who can actually help me. I have told my siblings but they can't drive and it is the summer so I can't even talk to the school counselor about it.

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