Taking Care Of Self While Being A Caretaker – Well-being Balance

hey what's up peace in abundance always so today is the first video of my response videos when I asked you guys to send me questions and I really was gonna go in order from first question to last but this particular question I felt like was really important and dear to me because of what this individual was going through in life and I could relate in many ways so I'm not gonna actually read the question out because it was a pretty long question but I'm gonna summarize it and then give my answer support response to the question the individual is a caretaker of a loved one I don't believe they specified whom the loved one is to them in relationship to them but it's clear to me that is somebody they care about because they feel like they have a hard time trusting you know other individuals to take care of their loved one and of course when you a care giver a care taker you put a lot of time and energy and it's really something that can really burn people out the reason why I know is because my family we run a home for disabled individuals and as a family business I work at the business part-time where I take care of a couple of individuals and I get that it can be work and it can be draining and I'm only doing it part-time you know and I have a schedule and you know when I'm off I'm off you know and I'm free but when we're dealing with people we care about and we feel like we're the only ones responsible for this individual it's a whole nother level and so though I can relate to being a caretaker it is definitely I would imagine more intense and more work when it is someone whom you are emotionally attached to whom somebody you really care for and love dearly and you know this is why ultimately I want to answer and support this person as quickly as possible so the individual is taking care of somebody they they love and it is become hard I would imagine in chaotic because they don't trust other individuals to take care of their loved one which is understandable because the industry of caretakers can be pretty tough you know and I'm gonna explain why but they're starting to loose you know control over their own personal life they're trying to balance out being a caretaker and also taking care of self okay so that's what we're gonna talk about here is balancing out being a caretaker and taking care of oneself now I think that one should not prioritize one over the other because that is often what people are left with a dilemma of do I take care of this person whom I love which is a clear yes or do i they think this is what it is they think or do I neglect that person and take care of myself well neither alright both are simultaneously synced together you must understand that taking care of self is in fact taking care of the other person you cannot neglect yourself you cannot you cannot neglect feeding yourself feeding your soul feeding your mind your body your spirit you cannot neglect your well-being for the well-being of the other okay it is not possible to say the least because when you neglect yourself as an individual when you neglect your well-being then ultimately you cannot be healthy enough to effectively lovingly take care of that person long term it will take some time but eventually things like resentment things like frustration anger will fester and bill until finally there are outbursts there are extreme versions of neglect and I'm talking as a whole I'm not talking about this individual I don't know the individual so I'm not gonna say this is what this person's gonna do but that ultimately is what the caretaker industry ends up looking like we're caretakers take on the job to be caretakers and they are working hours upon hours upon hours to either pay their bills or simply because they feel like that's what they need to do they feel like that's their purpose and eventually they neglect themselves and they don't feed themselves they don't and when I mean feed they don't feed their spirit they don't go out on vacation they don't go treat themselves to a solo date or a date period for that matter and what ends up happening is because they are not feeding their well-being then the love that they are needing to give to the person that they are taking care of doesn't it isn't fed it isn't nurtured it isn't taken care of and therefore it deplete it is depleted and then eventually these caretakers become neglectful even abusive over time there's almost like what happens to teachers so it's almost like what happens to law enforcement people where they're not taking care of themselves and the environment doesn't cultivate them feeling appreciated enough and therefore eventually it leads to them cleaning themselves of the intention of love and kindness and eventually it just goes someplace dark so you though have to be responsible for yourself and as somebody who can relate to being a caretaker this is what I suggest you have to take care of yourself okay taking care of yourself means taking care of that individual they are not separate when you take care of yourself it looks like this it looks like you setting aside time for you now you have to ask yourself how much time do you need to replenish that part of to replenish the love within to replenish the life right whether it can be four hours a week where you just simply be by yourself for four hours you do absolutely nothing you simply chill lay down you go to the park you read a book you watch movies eat pizza you actually go to the movies you actually do something you go actually go out on a date or you go on a solo date you know dinner lunch movie whatever it is that you enjoy but it's time just for you to do what you want to do whether it's four hours whether it's an entire day whether it's an entire weekend how often that happens throughout the month you have to figure that out okay but you have to set aside that time you have to set aside that time for you you have to set aside that time to you know play around have hobbies have passions be present okay with yourself and with life now again how does that happen when you don't trust people to take care of your loved one when you don't trust these caretakers for hire to take care of your loved ones and there's not enough family members who are willing to do it well first year you start with family members and say hey can you watch such-and-such for four hours on this day can you hire a caretaker for four hours or eight hours for this day okay now the best way to feel comfortable with any caretaker for that matter is to set them up for success how do you do that well you have to just kind of let go to some extent you have to trust I mean there's an interview process you can look up reviews you can look up you know people they've worked with before references whatever it is you need to do to check to the best of your ability if this person is time hearted and will really take care of your loved one but you want to set them up for success nonetheless what does that mean that means that you prepare the entire day for them so the job can be as easy as possible all right so say for example if you want to do a four hour window where you want to just be by yourself a flowers that means movie and lunch so you say to them listen I make the person I make this person my loved one breakfast at 9:00 in the morning I want you to come in right after I prepare them breakfast so that way they have eaten breakfast then you have all the way until lunch to figure it out right all the way until lunch for them to need food or you know you prepare them breakfast and give them their morning medications in the morning then all right then you got 12 o'clock you pre prepare their lunch and their meds so you tell the caretaker hey come in at 9:30 they would have already have eaten they have already had taken their meds at 12 o'clock when twelve o'clock comes you simply take this plate out of the you know fridge warming up whatever prepare it give them their meds and make sure they're good what they like to do they like to watch TV they like to watch soap operas they like to watch Jerry Springer whatever it is that individual enjoys doing with their day you set up the caretaker to absolutely know what to do is simply make sure everything is taken care of and that the person is safe all right and the person is going through their natural routine so that way there is no drama or no issues that's simply what you need to do over time okay the first time is going to be the hardest just like anything else the first time is going to be the hardest you're gonna be a little worried but after the first time second time third time even if you need to set up security cameras everywhere that's what you need to do whatever you need to do to feel safe to make sure that the person you are taking care of is safe and you are given the opportunity to take care of yourself is what's important so that's what I suggest because it's not a question of how do you take care of yourself the question is what do you need to do to do okay because you have to take care of yourself there's no question about it there's no options about it again the real question is how often do you need to do that to replenish the light within you to replenish the love within you to replenish well-being and happiness within you because it is important you have a life this person has a life that you are taking care of and you want to take care of them the best way you can doing that leaves taking care of yourself so make sure you do that make sure you set aside the time and then if there's a question of okay you may be gaining weight because you're not able to focus and build to the gym and all these different things then even that has to be set as a priority now how do you do that well nutrition and food you just have to do it I mean there's no simple way really to get around that you eat so you just have to make sure you eat the right foods and you'll find that the better your food quality the better you will feel the better ultimately you will feel and the better that we're translating you taking care of yourself and you taking care of your you know individually your loved one but you have to you can even pre you know pre prepare your food portion control pre prepare your food make sure you're tracking your calories because if you're not able to go to the gym a lot then the only way you're going to maintain your weight is by being mindful about what you're consuming how much you're consuming you don't have to go to the gym to lose weight okay that is a myth weight gain weight loss weight management 80% of it comes down to what you eat so you don't have to go to the gym you can simply just mine what you eat and that'll take care of itself track your calories figure out how many calories you need for your body for your height in your weight find out how many calories you need to get to your goal weight and then eat that amount of calories okay that's simple the better the food the more pure the food the better so foods vegetables whatever that's what I recommend even if you can a vegan diet that's the best diet I'm gonna say then the question is fitness if you do want to be more active how do you do that if you don't have time to go to the gym well you have to set aside things that you can do at home now here's an easy thing like a lot of people do these like little challenges right like the push-up challenge the sit-up challenge the squat challenge the Burpee challenge well do all those challenges but doing one day every week so say Monday you can do the puss up challenge okay let's do 100 pushups today Tuesday let's do 200 sit-ups today Wednesday let's do five hundred squats today Thursday let's do 100 burpees today set-aside days also set aside a couple of rest days but set aside days when you know exactly what you need to do they're simple they're not complicated so you just make sure okay today's Monday today's push-up date today's Tuesday today a sit-up day today is Wednesday squat day on and on and on make it simple make everything as streamline as simple as possible just like you want to make everything simple for your caretaker when you take your day off when you take your time for your personal date you want to do the same thing for you in your life make sure you set yourself up as the pro I'll say that you cannot give someone a helping hand if your hand is broken you have to take care of yourself in order to be able to fully take care of others so make sure you're always doing that that doesn't mean you have to neglect others to take care of yourself okay that is a myth that is you know something that I never agree to or believe is realistic believe is the way life should go I believe that there are options we can have more than one at the same time I believe in win-win situations and when it comes to family and loved ones there is no choice to take care of ourselves is to take care of the up you know so we have to take care of ourselves this is what I recommend all right make yourself a priority be per re with the person that you are taking care of and you'll be fine all right and that person will feel the energy the vibration they will feel the love that you are resonating from yourself from within yourself because when we are around people the people we are around they absorb the energy that we have just like we absorb the energy that they have so if we are neglecting our energy that we're neglecting that vibration the positive vibrations and energies within us and we're not replenishing that and we are around others especially others who are not well then we are not supporting them okay yeah we could be feeding them we could be changing them we could be bathing them but if our energy isn't healthy and vibrant then guess what that individual is absorbing that negative low vibration energy so the best thing that we can is be positive be happy be uplifting be you know inspired be motivated we only get that when we take care of ourselves we can't fake that we can't fake that we can fake a smile but we cannot fake energy we cannot fake vibrations so be mindful about that it is key is important all right if anybody else who's watching this video has any other tips on balancing out being a caretaker and taking care of oneself please leave a comment below to support this individual because it's a topic that is very important and I think that we all should think about it for ourselves because they may come a point in life where we have to take care of somebody else and we have to do it and we're the only ones doing it and we want to do the best not only for that person but for ourselves so to the person you know you can do this this is not something that is really that hard once you figure out the system figure out the system make it as streamlined as possible make it as simple as possible get the routine and eventually it will become something that you feel completely comfortable with and you feel complete you know so thank you for the question thank you for honoring me with even asking me the question to hear what I have to say you know because you know some people you look at like I would never ask them that question because why like I don't value their insight you know but I appreciate the fact that you value my insight enough to ask me the question to hear what I have to say so I hope that supports you if you need more support feel free to contact me on instagram you can DM me Peter abundant now get back to you right away so thank you for listening thank you for asking everybody else thank you as well for listening peace and abundant oats

2 thoughts on “Taking Care Of Self While Being A Caretaker – Well-being Balance

  1. This is so so true Peter! I am a caregiver to my adult son and while it is extremely rewarding it can get draining if you don’t take care of yourself like you said. I learned this, but I learned the hard way lol! But now no one has to tell me to take time to care for me. It’s automatic:)

  2. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question ( I'm gonna try to keep my response short lol) I appreciate and value any suggestions, advice and information. Great idea about starting the exercise challenges throughout the week and simplify and streamlining to keep everything simple. You also reminded me of the reason why I initially started my weight loss journey and I now realize I broke a promise to myself. In this video you talked about a caretaker's VIBRATIONS and how it could affect the person they are caring for. Yes, I've notice my loved one is growing concerned and begining to worry about me. I don't want them to worry about me, and I want them to feel confident and at ease that I am there for them standing strong mind body and soul for them and for myself. Thanks again for your suggestions. Definitely will start my fitness challenges this week to help get myself back on track. ☺

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