Tips for Facing Scan & Health Anxiety (plus a cancer update) | Wellness Wednesday with Kris Carr


– Hi guys, welcome back
to Wellness Wednesday. I hope you’re feeling fantastic today. I certainly am. I have some great news to share with you, which many of you already know about. But I’m going to tell
you what today’s topic is and it is basically how
to deal with scan anxiety, stress or fear around
upcoming medical tests, or really any stressful event that’s coming up in your life. Maybe it’s something at work. Maybe it’s something, you
know, in your marriage. Whatever it is, you’ve
got something coming up, and you’re a little terrified about it. This is a topic that’s
near and dear to me, because I just got back from the Dana-Farber Cancer
Institute, dah duh duh dah, (laughs) where I go to get my CAT scans, meet with my oncologist. I go there every two years
to see how I’m doing. I’ve been living with stage four cancer for 16 years now, and I was originally told that I would be lucky if I made it to 10 years, so 16 is a big victory. But I got even more good news which I’m gonna share about today, in addition to giving you these tips. So, hi everybody, it’s so good to see you. I wanna also thank you before I begin, because I posted about this
over the last day or so, and I wrote a blog at kriscarr.com, and I posted a little
video that Brian and I made because we shot some
footage with our iPhones just to kinda take you
guys along for a ride to welcome you into our
very very personal lives. And I posted some other stuff on social, and you’ve just been so
supportive and so loving, and, I mean, I don’t even know, maybe thousands of comments at this point, and so many emails from
you guys, DMs and what-not. So thank you so much for all of the love and the support and just, I feel so, just grateful. And I hope that I offer
the same back to you in whatever way I possibly can, because I just adore you, and I adore this wonderful, you know, virtual relationship we have (laughs). So thank you. Anyway, for those of you
who don’t know the story or maybe you do know the story, I’ll just tell it to you live, ’cause that will lead straight into the teaching for today. A few weeks back, maybe a month or so ago, we talked about self-care accountability, because I realized that
I had totally forgotten that I was overdue for
my every two year scan. And I shared that my first
thought was, “Darn it,” except it wasn’t darn it, it was F, “F, I don’t have time for this. “I don’t wanna do this right now. “I don’t wanna like schlep
all the way to Boston, “get the hotel, do the thing. “I’ve got so much going
on in my life right now. “This is super inconvenient.” And I realized, thankfully, that that is an affirmation. You know, we say positive
things to ourselves. We say negative things to ourselves. All of it is an affirmation, and can sometimes attract
more of that same energy into our lives. And so I quickly turned the beat around, shared it with you, and I realized that if I were to follow that line of thinking, it would basically be telling myself that I’m not worth it, that my health isn’t important, that my life isn’t important, that my safety isn’t important, and that is not a message that I wanna share with myself, with you, with anybody. So, we talked about it, as we always do on Wellness Wednesday, and I also encourage you to
make your own appointments because perhaps some of you still are avoiding some stuff that
you need to take care of. And let this be your sign, let this be your sign to go ahead and get those appointments done. Get them over with. You’ll feel so much better
when it’s behind you. So anyway, I made the appointment and I went last week. I snuck away last week, and I went up to Boston, mm mm mm, and one of the things that I didn’t share at the time was that I was particularly anxious this time around. And I talk about this on the blog. I’ve had a lot of years
of living with fear, learning how to make peace with fear, learning how to befriend fear, learning how not to catastrophize as part of my spiritual practice (laughs). But I had some new symptoms this time out, and these symptoms were very strange or very new to me. I was having some ongoing
pain in my ribcage, and I was very concerned about it. I wondered if perhaps my
disease had spread to my bones, which is a place that this very rare sarcoma can go. And I also had this little lump right here under my arm, and I was kinda frightened and kinda freaked out about it, because I do have a soft tissue disease. So I thought, “Could that possibly be “another tumor in my arm? “No, it couldn’t be. “Well, what if it is?” You know, and all of the stories that then begin to ensue. And so I was a bit worried and, you know, that’s when you focus on your tools. Coming back to the present moment, coming back into your body, practicing your meditation,
your breath work, whatever you need to do
to be in the present. Because the present is
the only real place, it’s the only guarantee that we have. And when we’re future tripping and totally paralyzed or paranoid, it’s very hard to live in our joy, and that’s not good for our bodies. That’s not good for our well-being. Of course we wanna make
the appointment, right? So, some of you might be sitting on an ache and a pain for a long time. And it might be hard for you to get out of that place of fear. Well go ahead and make the appointment, and see what’s going on. It’s better for us to just know so that we can deal with things, than to be, you know, in the dark and then living in our fear. That’s just a waste of your time, a waste of your life, a waste of my life and so forth and so on. So anyway. Cut to the fact. Well, wait, should I tell you that? No, I won’t tell you that piece yet. Some of you know it, but I won’t tell you that piece yet. So, I’m on my way to Boston and I’m realizing the
anxiety is just mounting. It’s getting worse, and I’m using my tools. I’m using my practice, but I’m having a hard time really coming home to myself and feeling like I’m in my body and not just floating
around outside of it. And so, the day of my actual results I had my CAT scan and then, you know, we slept over at a hotel room. And then I got my results the next day, and I was just feeling,
they’re not butterflies. I was talking about this
on Instagram earlier. They’re not butterflies, they’re like fricking gassy dragons just like taking over and clawing around and farting all over my stomach. I don’t know, but that’s what it feels like. I’m just gonna say. And I can’t control
these gassy ass dragons. And I’m just feelin’ totally out of sorts, and so I say, “Okay, you
need to just go by yourself. “This is not helping you to sit “in this waiting room, “probably bringing everybody’s anxiety “up with you, right? “We’re all kinda flipped out “that we have to hang out here anyway. “This is not the place that you wanna have “like a little social clutch.” So I go into the bathroom, and I look in the mirror, and I stare right at myself, and I just started to say the words that I know are so self-soothing and they bring me home and they make me feel supported, and make me feel loved. And they are, “I love you. “We’ve got this. “No matter what happens I’m here for you. “No matter what he says
we’re gonna figure it out. “I’m not gonna abandon you. “We’ve got this. “We can do this. “I love you.” Something along those lines. Those are all of the
sentiments and then some, and I just keep staring at myself and repeating this over
and over and over again, and taking these deep, long breaths until I start to feel my body settle, until I start to feel
the nerves calm down, and, you know, I’m thinking, “This is a public restroom. “Maybe somebody else is
gonna walk in at some point. “Great, welcome. “I will teach you my practice (laughs). “Don’t worry, there isn’t a crazy lady “talking to herself in the bathroom. “This is actually medicine (laughs).” But nobody came, oh well. I’m sharing it with you instead. Anyway, so that was part of what I did and what I shared at kriscarr.com. And the other thing that I did was I started to make a list, a little mental list, ’cause I wasn’t writing on a pad and paper in the bathroom. A mental list of all the things that are right with me. So when you’re sick or
you’ve got a mystery illness or, you know, you’re
struggling with mental health or people are telling you you’re this, that, and the other thing, and you’re starting to believe it, it’s very easy to have
a long list of things that are wrong with you, supposedly. But you know what? You’ve got so many bits and pieces and parts and pathways,
trillions actually. And they’re working exceptionally. You’re not even thinking about it. You don’t have to think about it. That’s how exceptional you are, and exceptional your body is. It’s absolutely miraculous. We know a fraction of how it works. So you’re an incredible human being with so much more, oceans more, that’s right with you than wrong with you. So you go ahead and you make that list. Think about that list. Think about that. Start to make it on your walks, when you’re going to sleep at night, reflecting on all of the parts of you that are working so well. And if you have a chronic illness, or you have cancer like I do and maybe you’ve got
something going on in your, you know, for me, it’s
my lungs and my liver. My lungs and my liver are
still working exceptionally, even though parts of my lungs and parts of my liver are struggling. Most parts are working exceptionally, and that is such a blessing. But in a world that focuses
on what isn’t right, and is constantly comparing and not celebrating the good, rather judging and
pointing out what is bad, supposedly, according to who? It’s hard to know. It’s hard to have the
practice of self-celebration, of all that is working. So I don’t know what that’s
gonna look like for you. That’s what it looks like for me, but I want you to take this idea forward and see how you manifest
it and materialize it into your own life. And, also for some of you, you’ve been given maybe, you’ve been given a
certain amount of time. Like I said, I was given
10 years in the beginning. Or maybe your disease comes
with some sort of statistic or number or something like that. Maybe your marriage has
some sort of number. X number of marriages like this fail, whatever it is. You know, you can apply this
to just about anything, guys. I might be talking about illness, but truly I’m talking
about wellness in life. And these are themes
and metaphors, perhaps, that you can apply elsewhere. But the truth is, is
that you’re not a number. There’s nothing about you that’s a number. There’s nothing about you
that is that quantifiable. And if you’re gonna focus on any numbers, why not focus on your net worth, right, and growing it, and your self-worth and growing it, rather than somebody else’s opinion of your life’s worth. It’s just a waste of time, so if you’re in that place just let it go. But if you’re still focused on that and it’s a hard thing for you to shake, you know, holding on to those numbers, then I would just say, if you’ve been given X percentage, then focus on the positive. So it’s easy to say, well, you know, there’s only a 30% chance you’ll make it and there’s a 70% chance you won’t. But why can’t you be in the 30%? There’s only a 50% chance. Well, that’s kinda easy (laughs). There’s a 40% chance,
there’s a 20% chance. There’s a 10%, there’s a 5% chance. Well, why can’t you be in that 5%? But what do we do? We focus on the 95%. It’s sort of like what happens when people give you a compliment. People can say all the
wonderful things to you. You know, I’m blessed. I get so many people from around the world saying wonderful things about me, online. It’s very, it fills me up, right? Or maybe giving me great
reviews on my books. But it could be that one person who says something so mean, or that one review that is so nasty, and then I forget all of the good stuff, the good stuff that I know about myself, of love that’s been shared about me, and so forth, and so on. And so we focus on these, we focus on the negativity. We focus on, you know, these negative results or outcomes or whatever it is. And truly it’s a waste of our time. So I just wanna also plant
that seed in your mind. And there’s a couple other things I wanna share with you that
I didn’t share in the blog or any of my social media posts. And one is kinda obvious, because it’s sort of what I was doing, and what I talked about earlier. It’s about being more present. So when you are in that
place of flippin’ out because you’re very anxious or you’re very fearful, something’s coming and you’re, you’re kinda terrified about it, the present moment is
truly your saving grace. The present moment is your peace. The present moment is your life preserver, and you can come back
to it through prayer, through meditation, through breath work, through changing your environment. You know, like maybe
you’re getting all frothy and lathered up sitting at your desk. Going outside, taking a walk, saying, “Come back home,
come back to yourself. “You got this, come back into your heart.” ‘Cause ultimately the present moment means you’re connected to your heart. ‘Cause your heart is the now. And, but you know, also in a world that
doesn’t celebrate that or teach that or support that or champion that or reinforce that, it’s a very foreign thing. So I’m gonna encourage us both to continue to explore
the exploration of coming, (laughs) explore the exploration, that’s a good one. To explore how we can
continue to come back to the present moment, back to the home, back to the heart. And then another thing, speaking of the heart, is I haven’t made this for you, but I will if you’d like me to. So just go ahead and give me a heart or a thumbs up
or some sort of wave, whatever moves you in the emoji land. And that is a body love meditation. And basically, how I do it for myself, you could do this for yourself. I’ll make you one if you want. But you could do this. You could record it on your phone. You know, you could use your own voice, believe it or not. It might be freaky at first, but I bet you have a wonderful voice. So you might as well give
it a try if you like. And that way you can
make it very personal. But a body love meditation is where you go through the parts of your body, maybe the parts that are struggling, but also the parts that are not, certainly the parts
that you’re not fond of. You definitely wanna spend
some extra time with those, and say, “I love you, thighs. “You’re so strong. “You’re so powerful, you’re so incredible. “You cruise through this life, “and you allow me to go
places and do things, “and I just love you, thank you. “I love you, lungs, thank you. “I love you, liver. “My goodness, you’re so talented. “Thank you so much, you do so many things, “like 500 different things. “Aren’t you a smarty pants. “Thank you, liver.” Whatever it is. “Thank you, pancreas.” My dad has pancreatic cancer. “Thank you, pancreas. “You’re just this incredible organ, “this deep organ that does
so many important things, “buried deep in the heart “and the center of my body. “You’re just spectacular, thank you.” Whatever it is. So, obviously my language
is very flowery (laughs), but that is how I talk to myself. I tone it down a little bit
in my meditations for you, but all of that, that love and that
sentiment is still there. So you do it whatever way works for you. But don’t forget how powerful it is to send yourself love, how powerful it is to send yourself encouragement and support. Because the person that you need to have your back, is you. We think it’s everybody else. We need our teachers to have our backs. We need our parents to have our backs. We need our partners to have our backs. We need our friends to have our backs. That’s all wonderful, and well and good, and I hope that happens. And sometimes it doesn’t. The person that we really need to have our backs, is us. When you have your own back, you can do anything. Well, absolutely anything, you know? And the universe, of course, and God always has your back, but you need to have it too, my friends. And that is like the
biggest, most powerful piece of medicine that I’ve
learned in this journey. So anyway, those are all my tips for you. Let me give you the rest of the story, and then I will check
in and see how you are. So many wonderful comments already. Hi everybody, I’ll check in with you guys in a second, and of course I’ll come back on after
our live broadcast. So, all of this stuff
in the mirror helped me. And then I went back
into the waiting room, my name was called. My husband and I went
into the little exam room, and in walks my wonderful
oncologist at Dana-Farber, Dr. George Demetri, I love you so much. 16 years and counting, what a good friendship we have. And I just so appreciate his
wonderful bedside manner, because he doesn’t screw around. You know, he cuts right to the chase and he never has a doom
and gloom look on his face. And I’ve seen some pretty
crappy bedside manner over the years, and he is
just exceptional and stellar. He should teach all
doctors how to have it, if you want my true opinion. And he just said, “I’m gonna cut right in. “You look fantastic. “The radiologist and I
looked at 16 years of scans, “and we compared them,” and he said, “We are just thrilled.” And it just felt so good, you know. It was like such a great celebration for me, and then because I don’t like goin’ and gettin’ scanned, but I do like keeping an
eye on what’s going on because my disease can become aggressive, and not everybody with my type of sarcoma has the more stable type. I’ve been lucky that that
is what it looks like now, but some people have aggressive types, and so anyway, so I pushed the limits. I used to push it at two
months, to six months, to a year, to a
year-and-a-half, to two years. And this time I said, “Hey, Dr. D., “do you think I could go three years? “That would just be so awesome.” And he said, “You know what? “You can, absolutely. “Why not five? “Three to five years, it’s fine. “Because nobody knows your body like you, “and you’re so connected to your body, “and I trust you.” And I thought I was about to fall off the exam table, you guys. I was so blown away by what he said, and so grateful, and I just felt this new sense of freedom. Because I did not think I would ever have that much space between these experiences. So, so anyway, if I can, this just gives me hope
and I hope that some of you can take some of that hope forward in your own lives, you know? And it’s, good news is, is this just a fatty deposit (laughs), and there’s nothing wrong with my ribs. Like I said in a little video, I think I pulled something doing a workout on one of my favorite apps. And it tells me that
I’m a little outta shape and I need to push it a little bit more, because I tend to do the gentle stuff. Maybe I need to like, you know, turn it up a notch (laughs). So, all is well there. There is nothing to worry about, and goodness gracious, you know, if you had a crystal ball, if you know what this is like and you start to worry about stuff because you have a
certain type of new cough or whatever it is, and if you could look
forward and get that news of like, “You know what, it was nothing,” you probably would have
saved yourself so much time from all of the worry that
you put out into the world and into your body. So that’s why it’s just so helpful to make sure that we stay in touch and we stay in tune, so that if we do have to
go deal with something, that we take care of it, ’cause you’re needed and I love you. I need you, so you gotta
take care of yourself please. And also, so that we can continue to optimize our lives. So, with that in mind, I want you to go to kriscarr.com/journeyupdate. There’s a link in the post here, and you can check out
the rest of my story. You can get the little affirmation that I shared at the top when
I was staring in the mirror and talking to myself over and over again. But also make sure you
grab that wellness tracker that I made for you. We went through it all last week on my last Wellness Wednesday. It’s been a big part of how I’ve been able to track my own wellness and stay on, you know, stay accountable. And it really encapsulates a lot of what we talk about when I teach you guys about the pillars of wellness, my pillars of wellness, which are what you’re eating, drinking, thinking, and how you’re
resting and renewing, how you’re taking care of all of that. So, I hope you got some tips out of this story that I shared. I hope that it supports you, and again, I’m just so
grateful for all of your love and all of your well wishes, and I know you have my back too. So thank you, thank you. So let me check in with
you before I say bye bye. Do one of my workouts (laughs). Oh, Susan says, “I so agree with the “present moment is all there really is.” That’s right, and what does she say here? “You can’t physically touch
the past or change it, “and we don’t know what the future holds. “The only thing we can
influence is this moment now.” Susan, you are a wise woman. Thank you for sharing that teaching. Lots of love, lots of yes pleases. Okay, you want the body love meditation. I will do that. Yes, please (laughs). Donna says, “I need flowery.” Okay, well, I can provide lots of that. “The mirror is the mojo,” says Deborah. I love that. “Sending so much love to
everyone,” Jenny says. Oh, this is great that you
guys support each other. That makes me very happy. More love coming my way, so great. I appreciate that, so fantastic. Well, read the comments, guys. Talk to each other, because every week in Wellness Wednesday, Mike, thank you so much, honey. I appreciate that. Hi, Elaine, you’re a blessing
in my life too, honey. I just adore you. You know, talk to each
other in these comments too. Because there’s so many, there’s so much great wisdom that is shared each week here, and you’ll get a lot from each other. So talk to me, talk to each other, and have a blessed week, you spectacular human, you. I’ll see you next time, okay? Mwah, bye.

20 thoughts on “Tips for Facing Scan & Health Anxiety (plus a cancer update) | Wellness Wednesday with Kris Carr

  1. I am so thankful for your good news! I am two weeks post brain surgery today and set for a high volume spinal tap next because of some complications. Down with the gassy dragons! You'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep me in yours if you can. Blessings abound! 😊β™₯️

  2. Congratulations! Fabulous news darling! We love you for bringing so much calmness to the "C" conversation. It's the best thing we can do for our bodies is to be calm, be still. This is such helpful advice. Self Love and speaking to your body in such a way, even flowery, is so healing and helpful because all our cells are listening and take cues from us and when we give them love, peace, and calmness mixed with a nourishing diet they thrive. It is clearly working for you at 16 years! God Bless you and your methods. Much love and gratitude to you. -Lori

  3. ❀️
    I have a surgery text week and this video came out just at the right time!
    Sending love from Italy

  4. Dragons are ancient creatures. They are very powerful and something we waste energy if we constantly struggle with, because they are simply there and possibly won't go away. Years ago I read a book about how you can learn to ride your Dragon. There where lots of mental tips and exercises in, like you say, you can learn to handle fear. It's a great metaphor.

  5. Thank you very much. Can't understand why there aren't more people who watching your videos. 17:00 : lol; the Doctor you first thought he's high? Haha

  6. You are so beautiful inside and out! So happy to hear this glorious news. Thank you for sharing your journey!

  7. Kris you are awesome woman if I can say that. I'm so happy you're well. Please look at NIA method by Dr Georg Ashkar, you can yt his film and maybe his method can be helpful for you and others people to cure path. All the best from Poland 😘.

  8. I so sorry to hear about your Dad.Β  Life certainly throws some curve balls.Β  When we enter into our next phase of existence I hope to meet with you and have some really great laughs about all of this drama.Β  God bless you,Β  hon.Β  Thank you for your sense of humor,Β  your words of wisdom and you true faith in goodness.Β  I am on the same journey and sometimes certain pains or whatever really can grab you and scare the begeebers out of you!!Β  You have to get a hold of yourself and refocus.Β  Love ya,Β  thanks again.

  9. πŸ’–πŸŽ‰πŸ‘πŸ˜‰πŸ€—πŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈπŸŒΈ

  10. Hi. Are you raw vegan ? Many people say to me that they get deficiencies on raw vegan diet and some animal products is needed. I have fear. Please comment

  11. Hi Kris,
    I appreciate your vulnerability in this video. You're so strong and you're right. Being present in the moment is important. Having your own back is something I definitely need to do.
    I appreciate you for your inspiring words.
    Thank you!

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